List of X Guest Post: 10 Things Most People Learned About Science From Watching TV

List of X is a very funny blog dedicated to funny, made-up lists.  Even its “About” page is really funny!  Why don’t you check it out?
More importantly, the List of X blog is a friend of the Baldscientist blog and for the first time ever a guest post from the former is about to be posted in the latter in 3, 2, 1…
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10 Things Most People Learned About Science From Watching TV
Most people have very little first-hand experience with science, so most of what we know about it comes from watching movies and TV shows.  Here are 10 things that most people learned about science from watching TV.
1) Every scientific problem that baffled the scientists for centuries can be solved in just a couple of hours with a bit of collaboration and some improvisation.
2) Every scientific experiment must involve either a lot of vials and beakers, or a computer program, or a made-up gadget that doesn’t exist in the real world.  The experiment must utilize all of the above to be really successful.
3) Whenever a scientist runs a successful scientific experiment, we should always see a bright glow, or a dense smoke, or sparks of electricity. If there are no sparks or glow, the experiment is clearly not working.
4) Every scientific lab must have dimmed lighting. Bright lamps can make the glow or sparks from the experiment harder to notice.
5) If you type really fast, you can hack into anything from anywhere: Pentagon, an alien spaceship, a toaster – nothing is off-limits to a scientist with a laptop.
6) No matter how sloppy and improvised a computer program is, it will always have an elaborate graphical interface to inform the user of completion of the experiment, or to warn about any malfunction. Whoever made the program may not have fixed all the bugs, but if everything fails, the self-destruct countdown will invariably work without a glitch.
7) A female science student cannot get a PhD degree unless she has exceptionally good looks. However, she can bypass that requirement if she always wears glasses.
8) Laws of physics, for example, law of conservation of mass or laws of thermodynamics, are really just suggestions.  A scientist can always break any laws of nature by using sparks, glow, or typing really fast.
9) Any living or dead creature can be cloned or revived. However, according to the laws of nature, this will always end in a disaster.  Every scientist knows that – but remembers it only AFTER the cloning is complete.
10) A scientist can connect any appliances, machines, batteries, energy sources between themselves and it will always work.  If you ever tried to connect a DVD player to your TV, you know for a fact that you need to be a scientist to make it work.